This is why I like this piece. You never try to be reassuring or polished, you pull us into Ricky’s world and you don’t make us comfortable, you keep us on edge so every thought demands attention. It doesn’t bore me, it keeps me alert the whole time. Ricky is not a reliable point of perception, and that’s what makes it so compelling. The way his mind filters reality feels unsettlingly real. But then again, when are we ever truly reliable when we interpret things that concern ourselves? You build a mental and physical prison around him, a cell that mirrors the way he thinks. He traps himself, screws himself into his own thoughts, and it becomes claustrophobic and inevitable. You don’t ask for empathy, you leave us suspended between whether he is victim or perpetrator, probably both. The word FREE lands like a release, but also like a final condemnation. It’s a harsh text that I deeply love, and you are extraordinary. I’ll say it again, you have a remarkable gift for being raw without self-indulgence, a human and honest kind of rawness in which all of us, careful not to look at ourselves so brutally, can recognise something. There is truly something to learn from the way you construct him.
Oh wow, I’m gobsmacked! You’re so cool to read and give back with such honesty and thoughtfulness! I’m glad you enjoyed it and really appreciate the feedback! Your thoughts resonate as if you were right beside me at the writing desk!
“When are we ever truly reliable when we interpret things that concern ourselves?”
That is known as the hitting the nail on the head, my friend! It’s the soul of the whole piece, as you alluded to, and that wasn’t in my head when I sat down to write. The fact you perceive so well the subconscious of the piece is one of my favorite things I’ve noticed about your critiques! Some of us would give eyeteeth to see the world through your eyes.
I’m amazed and thrilled and super humbled that you spent a part of your Sunday with me, Ricky, and poor, unfound Jeanine! You rule, partner! Again, so many thanks for your time and thoughts!!!
You kow those gifs of people eating popcorn? As I was reading this I felt like that. I hope that makes sense. I'm tired and the dopamine how worn off. But this still got me good. I just can't properly praise it. 😂
Hey now! Thanks for reading and for your kind words! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and to comment. It’s what makes stack and the community the most beautiful platform!
Thanks again for your thoughtful comments! They’re worth more than gold!
Hey thanks Auburn for taking time from your holiday to read and comment! I’m so happy you liked it!
Yes, I unabashedly use that device for expositing thoughts as an homage to Carrie and The Shining et al. I would hope Mr. King might find it flattering lolol
Again, thank you so much for reading and throwing out the feedback! You rule!
Immensely into that! I am in adoration of how you write so in depth keeping me engaged at all points. You are an awesome writer! Definitely, my kinda thing. Reminds me of a cross between Salinger and Kerouac. Real and so observant in the details you add especially his thoughts such as "iamsoalone." Repeated to feel the intensity of this emotion Ricky is experiencing. I am in awe. No doubt about it.
holy wow this is great, i love it!
Hey now thanks for reading and taking your valuable time to comment!
Glad you liked it!
Subbed and thanks again, my friend!
Really good. Like the bracketed interlining thoughts, works great. ⭐️
Oh, hey thanks for reading and for your response! I really appreciate it!
And with all my apologies to Mr. Stephen King from whom I stole the device as a young boy 🤣🤘 I’ve always liked that style.
Again, thank you for your time and consideration! Subbed!
This is why I like this piece. You never try to be reassuring or polished, you pull us into Ricky’s world and you don’t make us comfortable, you keep us on edge so every thought demands attention. It doesn’t bore me, it keeps me alert the whole time. Ricky is not a reliable point of perception, and that’s what makes it so compelling. The way his mind filters reality feels unsettlingly real. But then again, when are we ever truly reliable when we interpret things that concern ourselves? You build a mental and physical prison around him, a cell that mirrors the way he thinks. He traps himself, screws himself into his own thoughts, and it becomes claustrophobic and inevitable. You don’t ask for empathy, you leave us suspended between whether he is victim or perpetrator, probably both. The word FREE lands like a release, but also like a final condemnation. It’s a harsh text that I deeply love, and you are extraordinary. I’ll say it again, you have a remarkable gift for being raw without self-indulgence, a human and honest kind of rawness in which all of us, careful not to look at ourselves so brutally, can recognise something. There is truly something to learn from the way you construct him.
Oh wow, I’m gobsmacked! You’re so cool to read and give back with such honesty and thoughtfulness! I’m glad you enjoyed it and really appreciate the feedback! Your thoughts resonate as if you were right beside me at the writing desk!
“When are we ever truly reliable when we interpret things that concern ourselves?”
That is known as the hitting the nail on the head, my friend! It’s the soul of the whole piece, as you alluded to, and that wasn’t in my head when I sat down to write. The fact you perceive so well the subconscious of the piece is one of my favorite things I’ve noticed about your critiques! Some of us would give eyeteeth to see the world through your eyes.
I’m amazed and thrilled and super humbled that you spent a part of your Sunday with me, Ricky, and poor, unfound Jeanine! You rule, partner! Again, so many thanks for your time and thoughts!!!
Let’s just say I didn’t go to clubs much when I was younger, and I treated my inner reasoning like a Rubik’s cube. 35 years of mental masturbation.
Treated my inner reasoning like a Rubik’s cube…
You summed up my entire childhood in one sentence fragment. Astonishing.
35 years of mental masturbation.
I feel that so much. There’s a story there…
You kow those gifs of people eating popcorn? As I was reading this I felt like that. I hope that makes sense. I'm tired and the dopamine how worn off. But this still got me good. I just can't properly praise it. 😂
Hey now! Thanks for reading and for your kind words! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and to comment. It’s what makes stack and the community the most beautiful platform!
Thanks again for your thoughtful comments! They’re worth more than gold!
🫶🏻🫶🏻
Wow, Jackson! This was amazing! Reminds me of some of King’s stories. Wonderful read!
Hey thanks Auburn for taking time from your holiday to read and comment! I’m so happy you liked it!
Yes, I unabashedly use that device for expositing thoughts as an homage to Carrie and The Shining et al. I would hope Mr. King might find it flattering lolol
Again, thank you so much for reading and throwing out the feedback! You rule!
Absolutely, I can’t wait to read more!
Cool! I would appreciate any thoughts you may have, good or bad!
You’re much appreciated, sir!
Hey, man. Well deserved!
Much appreciated! You rule!
Thanks!
Nothing at all bad! One of the best stories I’ve read on here in a while!
Man, I take that as the highest praise! Your kindness and grace is unsurpassed.
Immensely into that! I am in adoration of how you write so in depth keeping me engaged at all points. You are an awesome writer! Definitely, my kinda thing. Reminds me of a cross between Salinger and Kerouac. Real and so observant in the details you add especially his thoughts such as "iamsoalone." Repeated to feel the intensity of this emotion Ricky is experiencing. I am in awe. No doubt about it.
Aw shucks, I’m honored you not only took time to read but to give your valuable feedback!
Your words are so kind; I am truly unworthy to be mentioned with those greats!
Many thanks and, if you’re just flattering me to get money, I haven’t any! LOLOLOL
Seriously, you don’t know what that commentary means to me! You rule, Queen!
Bless you! It's all true. X